What is worrying?

It is natural to worry, but many people become exhausted when their worrying takes over.Worrying is often about a fear of what could happen in the future, and when you worry, you often think about the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, or to people you care about. It often begins with a triggering thought. Then it quickly becomes a snowball that rolls downhill, and gradually gets bigger with new worries. When the worries grow, it’s typical to become afraid and anxious.

It starts with a thought

3000 to 4000 thoughts go through our heads every day. These can be about anything, from what we’re going to do this weekend, to studies, or a growing crush. Most thoughts come and go, without us doing anything in particular about them.With worries, we use another strategy. As mentioned earlier, worrying often starts with a triggering thought- something we are afraid of happening. What if I get sick before my exam?But what happens if you are far into your worrying, and a friend walks in? Most people find that they can escape from the worrying to talk to that friend. What does this say about your control over your worrying, if you can shift your attention from worrying to talking to a friend?

Put off your worrying to a set worrying time

To help you avoid your worrying taking control, you should start by finding out which thoughts trigger worrying. Once you’ve figured this out, you can better keep to strategy you want to use. The goal isn’t to get rid of triggering thoughts; it’s to be able to handle them in a more flexible way. Follow these simple steps:

• Set up a regular “worrying time”, for example, 4:00 pm every day
• When a triggering thought that invites worrying appears, put it off until 4:00 pm
• At 4:00, take 10 minutes to think about any worries you might have, and determine if they are actually worth worrying about
• Afterwards, continue as you were before by putting off any triggering thoughts until the worrying time the following day

Taking better control over your worries requires training, like anything else. Some days it is more difficult that others. Sometimes you need to be patient with your own ability to put off triggering thoughts. In addition, practice keeping your courage up by continuing to allow your triggering thoughts to exist while still being able to continue with the activities you had planned, regardless of if that is studying or hanging out with friends.After a while, you will find that you can handle your triggering thoughts in the same way as other thoughts, and that you are the one who controls what you want to think about.