How to control a bad conscience

A bad conscience is that painful feeling you get when you say something hurtful, or do something to a friend that you regret, for example. Or when you feel like you haven’t done a good enough job.Our bad conscience mostly exists as a social function. Most people want to belong to a social group, and if we break the rules and norms in that group, we risk that others see us negatively, or that we get shut out, in the worst-case scenario.

A bad conscience can be good

A bad conscience is actually a good thing; it gets you to think over your own actions and gives you the opportunity to apologize and make things right. Maybe it gets you to contact your friend the day afterwards, to explain why you treated them the way you did.Sometimes it’s not possible to fix something you’ve done wrong. In these cases, a bad conscience can teach you how to do things differently next time.

A bad conscience over your own accomplishment

Many students talk about having an almost chronic bad conscience because they don’t do enough, study enough, work out enough, or aren’t social enough. This can quickly become a dangerous circle. A bad conscience comes with a need to compensate (I didn’t get everything done today, so I’ve got to work even more tomorrow), and there’s never actually time to compensate.Bad conscience can be good if it gets you to study after a lazy period when you procrastinated on all of your studies. It can be good if it motivates you to finally start working out. But is it good if you have bad conscience despite the fact that you study as much as you’re capable of, or that you’ve already worked out three times this week?

Conscience and negative thoughts

Feelings of shame and a bad conscience are linked, and these feelings can lead to worrying and rumination that takes up a lot of energy, without getting any closer to an answer or solution. If you see yourself in this, it could be helpful to reflect over your own bad conscience.

• Try to get an overview of when you get a bad conscience, and what happens when you do.
• Does it serve a function in this situation?
• Do you think that you should have a bad conscience in this situation?
• What consequences does your bad conscience cause you?
• Does it help you to ruminate over this?
• Is there something you can do to change this situation?

Everybody is different when it comes to having a bad conscience. Sometimes it’s good to recognize that you get a bad conscience easily, but that it isn’t always necessary.Having a conscience is a good trait to have; it means that you want to be a good person to yourself and to others. But remember that you also deserve a little slack now and then, some good breaks with a very good conscience.