Speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you care about
Most of us have witnessed someone we care about not quite achieving what they wanted to accomplish. The first thing that comes to mind is rarely to ask them why they didn't succeed, why they didn't try harder, or suggest that they should just give up on the whole thing. It doesn't work, it's hurtful, and in the worst case, it can damage the relationship with the person you care about. So why is it so easy to say these exact words to ourselves when we don't succeed at what we want?
Do you need sky-high ambitions just because others have them?
Other people's achievements are constantly being thrown in our faces wherever we go—on social media, at school, at family gatherings, even at parties, it's hard to escape. That's why it's easy to feel like you "must" set sky-high goals for yourself. If you've set a goal that feels too big and unmanageable, chances are it's the goal that needs adjustment, not you as a person.
There's usually a reason things don't go your way, but that reason isn't always you
A messy room with bed sheets that haven't been changed since the 1800s is usually a symptom of something else. You've had a lot on your plate, maybe you haven't been doing well, or perhaps you've simply had enough just getting through the day. Regardless, it's not an excuse to think poorly of yourself. How would you approach this issue if it were someone you care about?
It's time to make a peace treaty with ourselves
Far too many people are too hard on themselves, and it rarely works. Instead of saying that you have to go to the gym and if you don't, you're lazy and sluggish, try thinking about what you deserve instead. You deserve to give your body the proper nutrition it needs. You deserve to sleep in a clean bed, and you deserve to wake up to a tidy room. And if you don't achieve it today, that's okay too. Perhaps this approach will make your goals decrease and take longer to achieve, but in my opinion, this is much better than living a life at war with yourself.