This article is about tips on how to strengthen your mental immune system and provide yourself with better conditions for tolerating what is painful and challenging. It is important to emphasize that you are not to blame if you develop mental difficulties. Mental disorders involve a complex interplay between who you are, how you perceive the world, and how you are met by others, and cannot be explained by neglecting your mental immune system.
Nevertheless, there are things you can do to strengthen yourself and your psychological immune system and provide yourself with better conditions for tolerating what is painful and challenging:
Becoming aware
Most of our mental processes happen "under the radar" as our brains prefer to conserve as much energy as possible. You can try to have a curious, exploratory attitude towards how you protect yourself from and tolerate stressful events. Feel free to talk to someone about it—do you react similarly in similar situations? It's not about comparing to find out who reacts best, but rather becoming aware of how you are and what your ways of facing challenges are, recognizing that we all have vulnerabilities and strengths.
Taking the power away from thoughts
Research shows that 95% of all people have paranoid, obsessive, suicidal, depressive, and anxious thoughts during a day without being mentally ill because of them. If you worry about such thoughts, now you know that you are not alone. Our ability to not consider our thoughts as facts but rather let them pass without interpreting them as signs of something wrong protects us from mental disorders. The less attention you give to a "weird" or negative thought, the faster it disappears.
Becoming aware of your own thinking patterns
As humans, we always make subjective interpretations of the situations around us. If such interpretations lean towards the negative, we experience a negative emotional reaction. For example, if a friend cancels a plan with you and you conclude that it's because they don't like you, you will likely feel insecurity, anger, or sadness. If you manage to stay more neutral about the situation, such as thinking that it didn't work out today, you will probably soon shift your attention to something else.
Thoughts come automatically, and we don't choose what or how to think. However, it is possible to become more familiar with our own thinking patterns if necessary to improve our well-being. If you find it difficult on your own, talking to someone can help. It can be a friend, a therapist, or participating in a cognitive restructuring course. Often, it helps to try to imagine how you would think if this happened to a friend of yours—usually, we are more generous when thinking about other people.
Accepting emotional reactions
We cannot control how we react. We can practice regulating our emotions and uncovering exaggerated, negative thoughts, but when the feeling arises, it's already there. If we don't accept it, secondary emotions often arise as a reaction to the primary emotion. For example, we may feel ashamed of getting angry or become scared by feeling sadness. If you can meet a feeling with curiosity rather than criticism, it becomes easier to understand the feeling, and it will loosen its grip more easily. Try asking yourself the question "why?" in a friendly and inquisitive way. Why am I reacting this way now? Have I had a tough day? Does it remind me of something difficult from the past? That is much better than a critical and harsh "why!"
Engaging in a friendly self-dialogue
Consider how you talk to yourself when you have experienced something challenging or haven't mastered something. Do you show yourself the same empathy and understanding as you do for others?
We need different self-dialogues. Sometimes we need to be supportive and comforting. Other times, we need to gently push ourselves forward, cheer ourselves on. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a reality check because there is care embedded in this type of self-dialogue as well, and a desire to improve. A supportive and empathetic self-dialogue is extremely important for your mental immune system and your well-being, security, and quality of life.
Reach out to friends
Not just when you're happy! It is beneficial to dare to talk about what is challenging with someone you trust. The person you confide in will most likely be glad that you show them trust. It means that you trust this friend so much that you share something vulnerable with them. If you haven't opened up to each other in this way before, you are setting a new standard for what you can talk about together. Thus, you are doing something good for your friend as well.
Furthermore, there are many ways to receive support. Remember that you can choose how much you want to disclose. Perhaps it is enough for you to say that you're having a bad day? Sharing personal and vulnerable experiences is also something you can practice. For most people, it feels very good when they dare to do it.
Food, water, physical activity, and sleep
To function at your best, your brain needs enough water and energy in the form of a nutritious diet. It is also important to have sufficient vitamin D, which can be obtained through diet and sunlight. Low levels of vitamin B12 are associated with depressive symptoms. Getting a good night's sleep also plays a significant role in managing stress and challenging situations.
There is also a wealth of research showing that physical activity strengthens both physical and mental health. By exploring how your immune system works, you will become more aware of how you handle difficult situations. Remember that you don't have to change everything. Knowing how you react and accepting it can also be very useful. When you understand yourself better, you can provide support to yourself in what is challenging for you specifically. The opposite would be, for example, to feel shame for reacting the way you do. A strong mental immune system is linked to knowing yourself and feeling acceptance for who you are!