Fear of "bad" food
For as long as I can remember, food has consumed my thoughts. It wasn't just about enjoying a delicious meal, but rather a constant preoccupation with what I would eat next and how it would affect my weight and appearance. This led to a constant obsession with calories and portion sizes, and fear of "bad" food. As a result, I would restrict my eating or binge on anything I could find to compensate for my feelings of guilt and shame.
Exhausting
This obsession with food took up so much of my time and energy. I constantly thought about what I could and couldn't eat, planned meals and snacks, and weighed and measured everything I put in my mouth. It was exhausting and left little room for anything else in my life. I tried all sorts of diets and restricting my eating, but it never seemed to be enough. I was always hungry and craving "forbidden" foods, and the cycle of restriction and overeating never ended. It was a constant battle and caused a lot of stress and anxiety.
Learning to listen to my body
It wasn't until I started working on my mental health and addressing the underlying issues driving my unhealthy relationship with food that I could begin to break free from this cycle. I learned to listen to my body's hunger and fullness signals and focus on nourishing myself with a variety of healthy and satisfying foods. Additionally, I also learned to let go of the notion that certain foods were "good" or "bad" and instead focus on nourishing my body with good, healthy, and satisfying foods.
It's a process
It has been a long journey, and I still have days where I struggle with my food issues. However, overall, I have come a long way in learning to see food in a more positive and healthy way. I am more mindful of my eating habits and less controlled by negative thoughts and emotions. It's a process, but I am confident that I can continue to make progress and build a healthier and more positive relationship with food.