Loneliness is a feeling that everyone experiences at times. If you have recently moved to a new place, it is almost inevitable to feel lonely in the first few months. It may help to think of loneliness as a message from yourself to yourself, a reminder that you are a human being and therefore need to be social and belong to a social group.

Building friendships takes time

Friendship is a peculiar thing. Sometimes, there's an instant connection, and you just know that this is a person you want to become good friends with, and it's mutual. You are fortunate if you experience this – such encounters don't happen very often.

Most friendships develop more gradually. Can you remember how you became friends with the friends you have from your hometown? Being friends doesn't mean you have everything in common. It's about getting to know someone over time, getting used to them, gathering information about who they are as individuals from various situations, sharing memories, and having shared references from things you have done together, like football tournaments, graduation season, class trips, and so on. That's why it takes time to form new friendships. Often, in school or extracurricular activities, friendships are facilitated precisely because people meet regularly over time and through activities. You may not always have that kind of support in higher education. Here are some tips on how you can take action yourself.

Availability

The most important thing you can do to make new friends is to show others that you are available. It means daring to sit alone in the cafeteria, appearing approachable, not hiding behind your PC or phone. Many people rush home after lectures to avoid the discomfort of showing their loneliness to others. It may also involve attending activities organized by the educational institution and overcoming the discomfort of going alone.

Take the first step

Smile. Be kind. Ask the person sitting next to you about something. Talk about subjects, the books you are currently reading, if you can borrow a pen, give a compliment, or even discuss the weather. This can be a challenge for the shy ones. See if you can manage it anyway. Remember that no one sees your nerves as you feel them in your body, and everyone is affected when talking to someone they don't know, so a little nervousness is natural. At the same time, we all enjoy friendly attention. Try to keep your head up and a smile on your face, even if you actually just want to hide. Think about what you would have liked someone to ask you. Perhaps the most important thing is not what you say but that you say something.

Be flexible

Even if you had planned to write an assignment, do laundry, or are tired after a day of lectures, if you receive an invitation, say yes! You can do the laundry another day, and the activity might become enjoyable and energizing. Even if the invitation may not be the most exciting, it can lead to something more.

Seek activities that last over time

Have you explored all the offerings available at your student welfare organization? There are hundreds of student associations and activities for all interests. Perhaps it's wise to aim for one that meets regularly, for example, once a week? It's easy to think that everyone there already knows each other or that you are not good enough/knowledgeable enough about the activity. Remember that associations and activities for students are there precisely for you! Most likely, there are several newcomers there, everyone has been new at some point, and you are warmly welcome too.

Be patient

You have to try a few times to find the right friend. It's not certain that you'll be lucky enough to get a 'catch' on the first try. Even though seeking new friends can feel vulnerable and exhausting, it's worth the effort when you find a friend!